I feel like it gets annoying to be me or to be anyone that tries to read anything that I write. I have these big plans to do things and I always fall through. I get tired or life gets busy. Mostly, I just get tired. I am always tired because I always have big dreams and this long list of things to do. In the end, I freeze up and do nothing.

This year I want to make it different. I haven’t been able to stick to anything in the past 5 years. For a while, I blamed it on losing my dad and my experience in an abusive relationship. The truth is, I have had a lot of growth over the past 5 years. It was hard to stick to anything because I was faced with the dilemma of figuring out who I am. It’s funny that despite everything that I have been through, the different seasons of my life, the two things that have always stayed with me were my love for reading and my love for writing. Those two things are at the very core of my soul and there is no denying that. They are the two things I am good at, the two things that define me, that make me happiest.

The past two years have been me waking up to my love of books and reading again, with a few clips of writing and remembering how happy writing makes me. I think a part of me is always trying to deny the writer within because being a writer is not easy. It’s not easy to create beautiful stories that someone in the world is going to tear apart if you let them see. Being a writer is not easy if you want to keep the stories to yourself, because there will always be that little part of you that wants the world to see what you have created. Yes, my stories are for me. I write to entertain myself, but I want others to fall in love with my worlds and characters. I don’t want someone to see my soul through my eyes, I want them to see my soul through my words and worlds and characters.

I also love reading so much and I have so many stories that I have read that don’t seem to get the hype that they deserve. I want to encourage more people to read. I want people to be less focused on the number of books or pages they have read and be more focused on their love for the words that dance in their heads. So I want to go back to writing book reviews on top of taking on writing challenges and finally finish a few novels I have sitting in my “Not Finished” files.

With that being said, I am going to go do something else productive. I want to surround my self with amazing people this year that add value to my life. Productive, positive, and successful people. I want to rise to my potential and break down the walls of self doubt that I allow to keep me down.

What are you going to do this year?